If you are wondering what formal skills, life-lessons and good habits your kindergartner will have acquired by the end of his preschool education, you're not alone. School today is a completely different place from the one most of us remembers. Educational philosophies and teaching methods have changed considerably, leaving many of us confused about what to expect from our child and how best to help him achieve. Yet educators acknowledge that learning has a vital impact on a child's future potential, especially when learning takes place within the home.

Life's First Lessons
Parents introduce life's practical lessons by teaching their children to tie their shoelaces, use the telephone and eat with utensils. Parents teach their children right from wrong and vocabulary words by telling stories to their children. Good social behaviour is encouraged and antisocial behaviour is corrected. Parents interact with their children to help them develop their talents and to demonstrate all those human realities of participating in a culture.

From whom do children gain their attitudes about sex, openness to race and religion, and an honest response to civil law? It is from the parents.

As your children grow older, encourage them to merge their play activities with simple domestic work. Don't underestimate the educational value of everyday activities such as handling fruit and vegetables, working with household equipment, tending plants, washing dishes, sorting the laundry and re-packing the bookshelf. Good work habits can be developed in the home by sharing real work. Tenacity does not come from learning Latin or Algebra. It comes from carrying a task through to completion.

Coping in Kindergarten
Teachers of preschoolers usually look at the following skills to gain some idea of a child's developmental level:

• Can the child say his first and last name, address, phone number and birthday?
• Can the child write his first name?
• Can the child count up to five?
• Can the child recognise different shapes?
• Does the child have some understanding of relationships such as size, color and shape?

As a child's first teacher, you can find enjoyable ways to develop these skills. Children learn colors and how to compare sizes of shirts or socks when they help to sort laundry. They learn to count through setting the table.

Reading is a valuable skill that can be nurtured at home by setting aside quiet time every night to read to your child. Ask open-ended questions about the story, such as, "What do you think will happen next?" These discussions help to develop your child's thinking skills, and reading together becomes enjoyable for both parent and child.

The main focus in kindergarten is on developing social skills through group participation. Children learn to answer the teacher's questions, ask questions in a group, speak to a group and wait turns when in a group.

Other skills expected of kindergarten children include:

• Independent activity. Starting an activity and completing it within an allotted time.
• Following class routines. Locating materials and returning them after use.
• Learning to follow directions. Two, three or four steps.
• Functional communication. Gaining teacher's attention appropriately, asking for information, and re-stating rules or directions when asked.

As a parent, you can inspire independence and cooperation in your child by assigning simple household chores and, above all, by reading with your child. This will encourage your child to start making small decisions and to work well when in a group situation or on his own.

By experimenting with materials and ideas, children learn about the world around them and develop a love for learning as well as a sound foundation for literacy.

Before School Starts
Before school starts, arrange a tour of the school complex. Locate the classroom, bathroom, lunchroom, telephones and sanitarium. Give your child landmarks to help him navigate through crowded, noisy hallways, such as, "Your classroom is on the first floor, opposite the Junior Library."

If your child is a school-bus novice, locate the bus stop, show him the route the bus will follow and point out landmarks along the way. Be sure he knows the safety rules and develop a backup plan in case he misses the bus.

If your child has a chronic illness, discuss it with the teacher and the school nurse before school starts. Share relevant aspects of your youngster's medical history and arrange for dispensing medicine.

Once children have the right social skills in place, they can attend to the more formal aspects of learning. To maximize your child's educational experience, maintain a dialogue with the teacher as the school year progresses. Plan to incorporate school activities into your busy schedule. Research indicates that children whose parents are active members of the school community are inspired to do well and have stronger academic records.

About the Author Theresa Lütge-Smith is the published author of four books on small business and entrepreneurial education. She runs a SOHO writing and research business and has recently completed a manuscript on the future of the family. She feels strongly about maintaining the institution of the family in an age where its existence is increasingly affected, and promotes all forms of family education and training. She is married with four sons and resides in South Africa.