Play is vitally important for children's development and should never
be viewed as "just playing." The importance of play is sometimes difficult
for an adult to appreciate, but adult working behaviour and those of children
at play are closely linked. If we were to take an aerial view of children
playing in a school playground, we would gain insight into the ways that
adults interact in the workplace. These early, social experiences stay
with us all our lives. Moreover, these learned behaviors are gender specific.

So what would we observe from our aerial view? Boys and girls play differently
and, generally speaking, what boys learn equips them admirably for a successful
working career.
We would see boys playing in small groups. If we were to ask the boys,
"Who plays with whom?" we would get answers about groups, leaders and
followers, hierarchy, and who can defeat whom. We would also get answers
about other group membership and we would find a remarkable degree of
consensus among all the boys. By the age of sixteen, boys have a considerable
advantage over their sisters, not in relation to education or ability,
but in that elusive thing known as corporate political awareness.
If we were to ask the girls the same question, "Who plays with whom?"
we would get answers about friendships, an inventory of best friends,
and a history of who used to be best friends and how another girl split
them up.
Team playing teaches children about rules, not simply knowing and following
the rules, but about rule making and, more importantly, rule bending and
breaking. There are important but subtle rules about rules, which successful
executives have mastered. These attitudes about team play, which we bring
to our adult working life, prepare children for the world of work as it
is today.
Leaders and Conflicts
The adult world of work is essentially made up of groups and individuals
who play different roles necessary for a productive organization. The way
that workers communicate will determine their relationship as well as their
attitude, motivation and performance within the business climate. Even if
you work solo, you will invariably come into contact with other groups,
which requires an awareness of rules, rivalry and risk taking and a healthy
attitude towards winning and losing. Clearly, those who are well-schooled
in the art of team playing are at a considerable advantage.
Given our current economic system, the purpose of work is to produce or
provide something for profit. This means being more successful, more efficient,
and more cost effective than someone else. It's necessary therefore to be
competitive in order to be a winner.
Boys playing in teams learn that winning is important, winning is good and
it is good to be part of a winning team. Girls, who are generally more interested
in building alliances, often regard winning as bad because someone has to
lose and might feel hurt or upset. For girls, being liked is more important
than winning.
Team playing also teaches the players about losing. Boys who play in team
leagues learn that losing hurts, but that the feeling is only temporary.
You can come back to win another day. In doing so, they learn to move on
from failure. Girls who avoid competition do not learn how to deal with
failure. They tend to blame themselves entirely and find it hard to bounce
back.
The Working World as Playground
Adult attitudes towards leadership are formed by these early experiences.
Team players recognize the importance of having a leader who is able to
take responsibility and who is confident enough to make unpopular decisions.
They also accept the necessity of giving and receiving criticism if the
success of the team depends on it. Girls are often uncomfortable with
the idea of being bossed and of being bossy. They will often avoid conflict
and, in particular, hurting others' feelings.
Modern management theory is trending towards participative management.
Men have much to learn from women in this regard. In the collaborative
style of participative management, all the members of an organization
play a direct role in planning, decision-making and change. Trust and
friendship play a particularly important role in participative management,
and the promoters of this style look to the dynamics of girls at play
for their inspiration.
Clearly, we have much to learn from each other, in particular when examining
the way that children play and how their games affect adult working relationships.