Maybe your baby is a little too young for that baseball mitt, but he's not too young to start learning sportsmanship. What is sportsmanship? For little ones, it is just learning to play fair. As your baby grows and starts playing with others, she needs to learn to share, take turns and have fun, win or lose. As a parent, you can help promote fair play by helping your toddler understand that the most important thing is for everyone to have fun. Encourage games that facilitate cooperation, rather than competition. Teach your child the rules of simple games and make sure that everyone abides by the rules.

Amy Harrison, director of Rochester College Preschool, reminds parents that children generally learn better from positive experiences. "If we show children the rewards of fair play instead of the punishment they will receive from not doing it, they will be more apt to learn from the experience."

Three to five

"Gold medals don't make champions...hard work does."
-Unknown

Preschoolers are learning lots of basic skills, such as how to throw a ball, how to swim, and how to play simple versions of sports. Whether your preschooler is playing in the backyard or just starting T-Ball, she is also learning other valuable skills, such as how to win without gloating, how to lose without complaining or making excuses and how to treat others with respect.

Preschool director Amy Harrison explains that if there is a dispute over sharing a toy, teachers tell the child they can play with the item for three minutes, then they need to share the toy with their friend. When the time is up, rather than take the toy away, they ask the first child to take the toy to the second child. "It would do no good if a teacher took the toy from the child and walked away to give it to the other child, because then the first child is not learning to share, and is also missing out on seeing the joy sharing brings to their friends."

Fred Engh, founder and president of the National Alliance for Youth Sports and author of the recently published book, "Why Johnny Hates Sports", offers a variety of solutions for parents, coaches, and administrators to help ensure that sports are safe, fun and positive. He explains that even young children can learn to be good sports by learning basic life skills, such as how to be unselfish, to share, to abide by rules and to have fun playing simple games with others. He points out that "We as parents become so engrossed in the winning, we forget that they simply want to play."

Six to eight

"Sports do not build character. They reveal it."
-Heywood Hale Broun

Our children are watching as professional athletes spit, kick and commit shocking acts of violence during games. Bad sportsmanship is also becoming more prevalent in youth sports. How can we teach our children to be good sports?

Sportsmanship is all about attitude. For better or worse, your kid may be getting his attitude from you. Karen Partlow, national director of the American Sport Education Program in Champaign, Illinois, advises parents to start with some 'personal introspection'. When your child walks off the field is your first question, "Who won?" or "Did you score?" If we are not careful, our children will learn to place the emphasis on the end product, winning, rather than the process, having fun and improving skills.

Parents should display impeccable sportsmanship. Win or lose, congratulate both teams. Shake hands with the coach. Never say anything derogatory about a coach or player. And above all, show unconditional love and respect for your child.

An athletic association in Jupiter Florida is trying to change parents behavior by requiring them to take a sportsmanship class and sign an ethics code. The Parents Association for Youth Sports (PAYS) is a membership association of the National Alliance for Youth Sports, which encourages good sportsmanship, positive participation and keeping sports in perspective. It helps educate parents and youth leagues to help children have a rewarding youth sports experience.

Nine to twelve

"Sportsmanship for me is when a guy walks off the court and you really can't tell whether he won or lost, when he carries himself with pride either way."
-Jim Courier

Good sportsmanship is simply playing by the rules, placing hard work above winning and treating everyone with respect. These are values all parents want their children to learn, both on and off the playing field.

It has been estimated that 22 million children and youth, ages 6 to 18, are involved in organized sports outside of school. According to a 1994 study by the American Sport Education Program, participation in sports contributes to the development of social competence and self-esteem.

But author Fred Engh believes that we have lost perspective of what sportsmanship and ethics in this country. "We must return the game to the children. We have become self centered and forget that these are our children at bat, not us and that we all have our strengths and limitations." What should parents do when they see bad sportsmanship? Engh says, "react to it. Tell your children it is not acceptable. Explain to them that bad sportsmanship comes back to haunt us, that it won't get us anywhere in the long run."

Is good sportsmanship a lost art? Let's hope not. With the right kind of attitude on the part of parents and coaches, good sportsmanship can be saved, one child at a time. Then when these children grow up to be the professional athletes, foul play will be a thing of the past.