EdnoLand: Articles: How to Deal with Your Child's Difficult Behaviour

How to Deal with Your Child's Difficult Behaviour
by Nadia Z. Ali

The determination of what constitutes difficult behavior in a child is an ambiguous category -- what one person considers to be troublesome behaviour may not be viewed the same way by another. Our individual beliefs, attitudes, expectations and levels of discipline determine how we expect our children to behave.

How Do You Handle It

Different parents react very differently towards their child's troublesome behaviour. Some display patience and understanding. Some are tough. Some get embarrassed, frustrated or just plain annoyed. Some hold their child tightly as they quietly talk to them. Some slap them and shout. Some walk on by as though disowning them. At these trying times, here are a few pointers to bear in mind.

Try not to overreact. I know that sounds easier said than done, but take a deep breath. Don't become tense and wound up.

If in public, ignore comments or glaring looks that come your way. It will only make you feel more agitated. Do what you feel is right. Think about your levels of discipline and what you expect from your child. Don't follow someone else's advice just because they offer it.

Talk to your child. Tell him why he should not do something. Help him understand. If you have to, break it down to simpler terms.

Offer rewards. No, not a new bike! Hugs or kisses are great! If, for example, you offer them ice cream in exchange for good behaviour, you are telling your children how to behave the next time in order to get ice cream.

Encourage Good Behaviour

The ideal way to encourage your child to behave well is by talking to him. Most children naturally want to feel loved and have your undivided attention. Spend some quality time with your child. Turn off the TV in the evening. Put your child to bed early and read him a story. It creates conversation and lets you explore your child's imagination.

Relate your child's baby stories to him so he may laugh at the funny things he used to do.

Let your child know you love him. Hug and kiss him. Tell him how special he is to you.

Let your child know how proud you are of his accomplishments no matter how small -- or big!

Early Learning

Children learn best when they are young, impressionable and listen to what their parents say. This is the time to instil a sense of right and wrong. Without you being there to supervise and guide your children, things can get out of hand. Talk to them about:

Manners. Teach them that being polite and having manners shows respect to others.

Honesty. This is not just about telling the truth, but how telling the truth aids in forming honest relationships.

Self-control. Explain why being able to control your emotions is important, be it inappropriate laughter or anger. This can also extend to decision-making, whereby children must learn to stand by what they believe to be right and not be led by peer pressure.

Responsibility. This is a trait which is formed over time. Your children learn how to listen to their inner voice, the one that tells them what is wrong and right in given situations. It forms the principles by which they will live.

Bear in mind that you know your child best. It's worth the effort to think about why your child is behaving badly. You may find that there is a reason why he is seeking your attention. As parents, we must help our children to acquire the habits and character traits that they can rely on throughout their lives.

About the Author Nadia Ali obtained her Kindergarten Teacher training at the University of the West Indies, Trinidad. She has been a teacher until recently, when she began freelance writing on the Internet. She is now a regular contributor to two sites with other projects in the development.